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More Ways to Make Travel Easier

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 21:03:43 GMT

Supportive tools and ideas for trips with your autistic child

Photo credit: spendlifetraveling.com

School vacations and summer break offer opportunities to travel as a family. You might be picturing a getaway while also wondering how to make travel work for your autistic child. Both can be true.

Travel brings novelty, transitions, and sensory input. That can feel both exciting and exhausting. With some gentle planning and a lot of flexibility, trips can be more doable and even enjoyable.

Here are a few ideas to support you this season.

Choose Thoughtful Destinations

More organizations are incorporating sensory-aware options and inclusive practices. The website autismtravel.com provides recommendations for autism-friendly places to visit, helping your family travel with confidence.

A few to explore:

Theme parks like LEGOLAND, Sesame Place, and Six Flags often offer staff training and accommodations
Zoos and aquariums may host sensory-friendly hours
Beaches, nature trails, and parks can be calming and open-ended
Museums and libraries are increasingly offering low-sensory experiences

Many venues now have designated quiet or low stimulation spaces. Look for signage or ask at guest services.

Build a Flexible Itinerary (Not a Rigid Schedule)

This is a big one.

Instead of packing each day with must-do activities, try creating a loose plan with options :

One main activity per day
Built-in rest or downtime blocks
Clear “we can leave early” permission
Backup ideas if something does not land well

Let your child have input when possible. Even small choices like morning beach or afternoon pool can increase buy-in.

A flexible agenda gives everyone breathing room. It allows you to follow your child’s nervous system rather than the clock.

Bring a Sensory Kit

Pack what helps your child regulate and feel grounded:

Fidgets, noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses
Tactile items like putty, slime, or textured toys
Small notebook and pen, toy cars, or comfort objects
Weighted blanket, vest or stuffed animal.

Having familiar tools available can ease transitions and reduce escalation. If you forget something, many venues sell sensory items. Ask at the front desk or gift shop.

Consider a Sunflower Lanyard

The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower program uses a green lanyard with sunflowers to quietly signal a non-apparent disability.

The goal is not special treatment. It is awareness.

Order yours here: hdsunflower.com

Families often report more patience from staff and fewer assumptions in busy spaces. You can order one online or find them at some airports and attractions.

Set Expectations Gently (for Yourself Too)

Trips do not have to look like other families’ trips.

A successful vacation might mean:

Fewer activities
More hotel downtime
Takeout instead of restaurants
Early nights

That still counts, and you can have fun vacationing with your family, doing what works for you.

You do not need to make this trip perfect. You just need to make it supportive, flexible, and aligned with your child’s needs and your family’s capacity.

Wishing you a smoother, gentler vacation full of memories.

You are doing a really good job.

Interested in working together?

College Prep for Your Autistic Child

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 17:27:04 GMT

What I wish I had known about support, accommodations, and financial resources before move-in day

Navigating sensory sensitivities and meltdowns

My daughter started her first year of college not long after receiving her autism diagnosis. To say I was apprehensive is an understatement. Autism was a new word for us , and at home, she lived unmasked. Sensory sensitivities and meltdowns were part of our evenings. The idea of her managing all of that while learning to live on her own, keeping up with a college course load, and navigating everything that comes with leaving for college felt overwhelming.

What I did not yet understand was that colleges already have systems in place to support disabled students . These include academic accommodations, accessible housing and dining, counseling services, assistive technology, and staff who help students navigate college with a disability. There is also financial support available, something I learned later than I would have liked.

As you and your child work to decide where to apply, consider how the school creates a welcoming environment for disabled individuals . Is their website easy to find and navigate? Is it possible to meet with a member of the accessibility office before accepting enrollment or as part of a campus visit or tour? One option is to start at a local community college. This can allow your child to live at home while gradually gaining experience with college life.

Fortunately, she knew what she wanted to study, applied early decision to a specific program, and was accepted. Then came the real questions. What would daily life on campus look like? How would her high school 504 plan translate? Who would help her put supports in place, and how would we pay for what she needed?

The conversation that changed everything

The first and most important step was meeting with the Student Accessibility Services office. That one conversation became the hub for everything else, from academics to housing to day-to-day logistics.

Through that process, she qualified for a single room with a doctor’s documentation. Having a predictable, quiet space to retreat to was essential for managing sensory overload and emotional regulation.

We also learned that dining services offered flexible options , including meals to go. On days when the noise, smells, and chaos of the dining hall were too much, she could still meet her needs without pushing past her limits.

Her academic accommodations carried over from her 504 plan. Extended test time, advance notice of syllabus changes, and access to extra office hours were approved. Each semester, she emailed her professors to review accommodations and discuss how they would work in each class. This support was real, and it also placed responsibility on her, which sometimes felt othering, even as it helped her grow.

What surprised me was learning that accommodations themselves do not affect financial aid eligibility.

In addition, many students qualify for outside financial support. State Vocational Rehabilitation services can help cover tuition, assistive technology, coaching, and, in some cases, housing-related needs. There are also scholarships specifically for disabled students, many of which go unused simply because families do not know they exist.

Beyond that, the accessibility office connected her with academic advising, on-campus counseling services, and guidance on where to ask about financial resources . These supports were there all along. We just had to learn how to access them.

As you prepare your child for their first semester, start by listing the day-to-day supports you already know help them function and regulate. Use that list as your starting point when working with the accessibility office at your child’s school. Ask early about financial resources as well. It is all part of the same conversation.

Getting answers before acceptance can take persistence, but it is possible. Make the calls. Ask the questions. You are not asking for favors. You are building a foundation for success.

If you are navigating college prep for your autistic child and feeling unsure where to start, you do not have to figure it out alone. I work with parents to sort through options, ask the right questions, and build a plan that feels realistic and supportive for your family.

Interested in working together?

What If Summer Felt Easier?

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 19:54:36 GMT

How early planning can support calm, confidence, and connection for autistic kids.

Summer can look relaxing on the calendar and feel anything but once it arrives. When school ends, routines shift, supports disappear, and long unstructured days can be hard on everyone.

That’s why summer programs can be so valuable, even if you are just beginning to explore.

Routine without school pressure ��️

Many autistic kids still thrive with predictability. Summer programs often provide consistent schedules, familiar adults, and clear expectations without the academic demands of school.

Predictability supports regulation ��

Knowing what comes next reduces anxiety. Repeated activities and steady transitions help kids feel safer and more confident, which often leads to smoother days.

Being with peers in natural ways ��

Shared interests like art, LEGO, or swimming �� create opportunities for connection without forcing social skills. Inclusive or autism-empowering environments can feel like a relief after a long school year spent trying to fit in.

Learning essential safety skills ��

Swimming and water safety matter at every age. Summer is often the best time to focus on these skills in adaptive, supportive settings.

Practicing independence, gently ��

Programs offer space to try new things, build confidence, and practice separation while still having adults nearby who understand each child’s needs.

At their best, summer programs are not about filling time. They help preserve regulation, build confidence, and make summer feel steadier for the whole family.

Photo credit: unsplash

Suggestions for Finding Programs ��

Finding opportunities takes creativity. Ask your child’s therapy for providers, teachers and your pediatrician for suggestions of programs they like. Note, when searching online, many strong programs do not use the word “camp.” Starting early helps you see what exists and what tends to fill quickly. Here are suggested search terms:

General

autism friendly summer programs
neurodivergent enrichment programs
adaptive summer activities for kids
inclusive programs for autistic kids

Art and creative

adaptive art classes autism
sensory friendly art programs
neurodivergent creative studio

Swim and water safety

adaptive swim lessons autism
water safety program autism
sensory friendly swim classes

LEGO and STEM

LEGO therapy group autism
LEGO based social skills program
autism STEM enrichment

Helpful word swaps

group instead of camp
program instead of class
enrichment instead of lessons
studio instead of workshop

Add “near me,” your city or state, recreation department, YMCA, or community center to narrow results.

Questions to ask before committing ��

You do not need perfect answers. You are listening for thoughtfulness and flexibility.

What experience do staff have working with autistic or neurodivergent kids?
What does a typical day look like and how consistent is it?
How are transitions and sensory needs supported?
What happens when a child feels overwhelmed?
How is safety handled, especially around water?
Can activities be adapted or opted out of if needed?

The way a program responds often tells you more than the details themselves.

If summer feels far off, start small. Pick one search term this week and see what’s out there. Save a program that sparks curiosity, even if it’s not a fit right now. And if you want help thinking through options or vetting what you find, that’s a conversation I’m always happy to have ��

Interested in working together?

To Tell or Not to Tell

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 20:01:31 GMT

When and how to talk with your child about autism

If you’ve ever wondered when or whether to tell your child about their autism diagnosis, you’re not alone. This question often comes up with my clients and is highly personal. My daughter’s diagnosis happened when she was a teenager, and she was part of the conversation with the psychologist who evaluated her.

There’s no one-size-fits-all age or perfect way to do it, but there's an approach that feels steady and intentional instead of overwhelming. Here’s what I’ve learned from research, coaching, and experience.

Kids are smart

Kids may already have a sense that something is different about them than other kids. Many autistic kids sense from a young age that certain things feel harder, louder or more confusing for them than for other kids. They may not have the language for it, but they feel it. Sharing the diagnosis can actually relieve some of that internal pressure. It gives them a name for something they’ve been experiencing all along.

Telling your child builds confidence

Having language or an explanation for their feelings of difference helps build their self-esteem. Studies consistently show that kids who understand their neurodivergence tend to have increased confidence and a clearer sense of identity as they get older. When the conversation is framed around strengths, differences, and the way their brain works, the diagnosis becomes a tool rather than a burden.

Keeping the diagnosis a secret can backfire

Parents often hesitate because they don’t want their child to feel labeled or limited. I get that deeply. But waiting too long can sometimes send an unintended message that autism is something to hide. Kids pick up on this more than we realize, and it can lead them to create stories about themselves that aren’t kind. They’re also incredibly perceptive about private conversations happening around them.

My daughter once said, “I’d rather know I am a zebra and not some unique horse. As a zebra, I can find community. People who talk like me, think like me, and approach life like me.”

It’s not one big reveal

This is the part most parents find comforting. Sharing your child’s diagnosis doesn’t need to be a single, dramatic conversation. It’s a gradual unfolding that can begin with simple ideas like brain differences, sensory needs, or what helps them feel calm. You might talk about things they’re really good at alongside areas that feel more challenging. Celebrate their strengths while also acknowledging that having a brain that works differently can sometimes be hard. Over time, you build on that foundation as they’re ready for more, following your child’s lead and offering additional information as questions come up or situations arise.

What usually helps

Here are a few things I encourage parents to consider:

Start with strengths
Use language that feels natural to your family
Follow your child’s curiosity
Revisit the topic often as they grow
Keep the tone neutral, warm, and matter of fact

The goal is that your child walks away understanding that autism is part of who they are , not a verdict about their future.

My perspective

When families invite me into this conversation, I always tell them this: the truth, shared with love and clarity, is rarely the thing that causes harm . More often, it’s the silence, the guessing, and the feeling of being other without explanation. Children do better when they understand themselves, and you get to guide that understanding in a way that feels safe.

Photo credit: unsplash

If you want help thinking through how to begin the conversation, or you’d like age-specific language, I’m always happy to walk through it with you.

Interested in working together?

A Confident Start to the New Year

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 20:06:16 GMT

Simple systems to help insurance, paperwork, and care feel manageable

A new year is a perfect moment to refresh your systems and prepare for what’s ahead. Insurance benefits reset, deductibles restart, and therapy schedules often shift. A little organizing now can save you frustration later and help you feel more grounded as the year gets moving.

Here’s a simple way to start strong.

�� Review your insurance plan for the year ahead

Take a few minutes to look at your Plan Summary. Focus on the essentials.

What is covered In-Network and how many sessions are allowed each year
What counts as Out-of-Network, and the deductibles for each
How coverage changes once deductibles are met
Your maximum out-of-pocket limit

Understanding these pieces helps you choose providers with more confidence and anticipate early-year expenses.

�� Refresh your filing system

Create a new main folder for 2026 (or the year you are entering), either digitally or in a physical binder. Inside, set up a subfolder for each provider.

Include:

Session notes and at-home recommendations
Invoices
Optional EOB copies if you prefer everything in one place

If you use out-of-network providers, set up a simple tracking spreadsheet now. It will help you follow claims, see what has been applied to your deductible, and avoid unnecessary backtracking later.

✏️ Take cleaner notes from the start

Begin the year with a fresh notebook or a dedicated digital space. Each time you call a provider or your insurance company, record:

Date and time
Name of the representative
What you were told
Any next steps to expect

These small notes save time, reduce stress, and make future follow-ups much easier.

�� Set up your household appointment system

Choose a method your whole family can rely on.

Shared phone calendar
A wall calendar in a central spot
Any system that keeps everyone in the loop

Be sure to account for travel time and any new therapies or evaluations you expect to begin.

�� Remember your secret support

Many insurance plans offer Case Managers who help families understand their benefits, coordinate care, and, in some cases, negotiate exceptions. Request one early in the year. It can make a meaningful difference in cost, clarity, and overall support.

A new year offers a natural chance to reset, breathe, and create routines that truly support your family. With a bit of structure in place, you’ll feel more prepared and far less overwhelmed.

If you want to walk into the year with a clear plan and systems that feel realistic for your life, let’s talk. I can help you sort out what to prioritize, what to simplify, and how to create more ease in your days.

Interested in working together?

End of Year Reflection for Your Family’s Journey

Wed, 31 Dec 2025 19:25:48 GMT

A simple pause to celebrate your child's progress and your resilience

As the year winds down, many parents tell me they feel a mix of pride, exhaustion, and that familiar sense of “there’s still so much to figure out.” If that sounds like you, take a breath. This is a perfect moment to pause and gently look back on all that you and your child have moved through.

1. Start with what makes you proud

Think about the small but meaningful shifts. Maybe your child tried something new, handled a tough moment with more ease, or found comfort in a routine that works for them. Maybe you learned to trust your instincts a bit more, spoke up at a school meeting, or built a system that keeps the chaos at bay. These are real victories.

2. Look toward what you’re hoping for

Hope doesn’t need to be huge or polished. It can be as simple as wanting smoother mornings, more support at school, or a little more room to breathe in your days. This is your chance to name what you want more of, not out of pressure but out of possibility.

3. Choose a few steps for the first three months of the new year

Instead of trying to transform everything at once, pick one to three small actions. Maybe you’ll schedule an appointment you’ve been putting off, introduce a visual schedule, reconnect with a support group, or set up a regular check-in with your partner. Three months is enough time to make progress without overwhelm.

4. Keep notes

Take a moment once a week, a month, or even daily to notice small changes, improvements, or growth. When you're in the thick of daily routines, it can be hard to spot the wins. Pausing to reflect on them and keeping track will support you when tough days come. Grab a notebook or use your phone to jot down one or two things you notice (they don’t have to be monumental, just a reminder of your progress).

A gentle reminder

You are raising and supporting a child who experiences the world in their own way. That requires patience, creativity, and stamina. You’ve handled this year’s challenges with more resilience than you might realize from the inside. Let this reflection create space to recognize how far you’ve come and to set a hopeful direction for where you’re heading next.

If you want help turning your reflection into a simple plan for the new year, I’m here. Grab a time on my calendar, and we can walk through it together.

(Image source: Brian Freeman)

Interested in working together?

Navigating the Holidays with Your Autistic Child

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 19:29:53 GMT

Making space for calm, connection, and comfort this holiday season

The holiday season is full of meaning, but it can also stir up a lot for our kids. Whether your family celebrates Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, or a blend of traditions, this time of year comes with extra noise, new routines, and social pressures that can feel overwhelming. You are not imagining it if things feel harder right now.

Here are a few patterns I see often with autistic children during this season and some ideas that might help:

�� Sensory overload is real

Lights, music, decorations, strong smells, crowded rooms. Even small changes in the environment can stack up fast. A quiet corner, headphones, a familiar object, or a short walk outside can make a big difference.

��️ Routines get disrupted

Holiday schedules stretch across days or weeks. Kids who thrive on predictability may feel unsettled when each day looks different. A simple visual plan for the day or a verbal rundown in the morning can help restore a sense of safety.

�� Social expectations can be draining

Family gatherings often involve greetings, small talk, group activities, and photos. If your child pulls away or needs breaks, it does not mean they are being rude. It means their system needs a pause. You can help set expectations with relatives ahead of time.

�� Gift giving can be tricky

Surprises can be stressful. Some kids prefer opening gifts privately. Others need time before showing interest in something new. It’s completely ok to honor what helps your child feel steady.

��️ Holiday foods may feel unpredictable

If your child relies on safe foods, bring them without apology. New textures, smells, and flavors can be overwhelming, especially when surrounded by unfamiliar dishes.

�� Traditions vary in intensity

Lighting candles, attending services, or participating in rituals can be meaningful and challenging at the same time. Shortening, simplifying, or previewing the steps can help your child participate without overload.

✈️ Travel adds another layer

Long drives, flights, overnight stays, and shifting routines can drain a child’s capacity before the celebration even begins. Plan for decompression time and keep expectations flexible.

(Image source: Bright Path)

Most importantly, remember this: your child’s needs are valid. You are not doing anything wrong if your holiday looks different from what you imagined. The goal is not to create a perfect experience. It is to help your child feel safe, supported, and connected.

If the holidays already feel like a lot, you are not alone. Hit reply and tell me what’s coming up for you. I’d love to help you find a calmer, more manageable plan for your family.

Interested in working together?

Easing the Stress of School Breaks for Autistic Kids

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 18:26:13 GMT

Simple ways to keep your child grounded when routines shift

Tis the season of school vacations and changing expectations. Breaks can feel exciting, but they can also shake up your autistic child’s routines and increase the chances of meltdowns as they adjust.

Here are a few areas to keep in mind as you plan for extended time away from school and familiar, predictable days. Each one includes ideas to help you offset the disruption and create more ease for you, your child, and your family.

(Image source: Kajeet)

Routines disappear

School creates a steady rhythm. When that suddenly stops, it can feel like the floor drops out. Even fun activities feel harder without structure.

Create a light daily rhythm

Not a strict schedule, just simple anchors. Wake time, meals, outside time, play, quiet time. Predictability without pressure.

Use a visual plan for the day

A quick list or picture chart helps kids feel settled. Checking things off gives them a little sense of control.

Preview changes ahead of time

If you’re traveling, hosting visitors, or doing something new, give a heads-up. Talking through what to expect, more than once, can help ease anxiety.

Sensory stuff changes

Home has different sounds, smells, and energy than school. Holiday crowds, travel, or noisy relatives can turn up the overwhelm.

Build in sensory breaks

Quiet corners, headphones, a favorite show, outside time, fidgets. Small resets go a long way.

Social expectations shift

Adults often expect more flexibility, conversation, and spontaneity during breaks. That can be exhausting.

Limit the chaos when you can

You don’t have to attend everything. Smaller gatherings or shorter visits can keep things calmer for everyone.

Special interests get interrupted

Travel or guests may limit access to the comfort activities that help your child regulate. That can raise stress quickly.

Protect access to their interests

Whether it’s Minecraft, baking, art, or any special interest, make space for it. Their interests support their nervous system.

Unpredictable transitions

Every day looks different. Kids may not know what’s happening next or how long things will last. That uncertainty can simmer into stress.

Keep transitions gentle

Use timers, give countdowns, and offer choices. “Five more minutes, then snack” can be surprisingly effective.

Plan one predictable “same thing” each day

A walk, a puzzle, a favorite snack, a story ritual. A simple daily constant helps keep things steady.

Exhaustion hits harder

School takes a huge amount of energy. By the time break arrives, many kids are running on empty. The crash can look like irritability, shutdowns, clinginess, or big behaviors.

Rest matters

Lazy mornings, quiet afternoons, or even a nap if it helps. Honor the recovery time without guilt.

Remember, you know your child best. Do the things that help them feel balanced, grounded, and regulated. And I’d love to hear from you. What tools do you already use to help your child through school breaks? Hit reply and share what’s been supportive.

Interested in working together?

Asperger's and Autism

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 20:17:19 GMT

A Simple Guide to What Has Changed and Why It Still Matters

How had I missed this?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve heard Asperger’s used to describe an autism diagnosis, once by a parent and once by a grandparent. This is one of those situations where language truly matters, both for clarity and for how families understand their child.

Before I go any further, I want to be clear that this is not about judging or correcting the words you choose. The language we use to describe ourselves and our children is deeply personal, and it often evolves over time. My hope is simply to offer some perspective on why the term Asperger’s can feel complicated.

Asperger’s was originally used for autistic people who had strong verbal skills and no obvious intellectual delays. For many families, it felt like a gentler or less overwhelming label. The term comes from Hans Asperger, a physician in 1940s Austria whose work focused on children with social communication differences and unique neurological profiles. Later, historical research revealed that Asperger worked within systems tied to the Third Reich and participated in decision-making that aligned with its ideology. This included referring some disabled children to institutions connected to state-run programs that devalued their lives. While scholars still debate the extent of his knowledge or involvement, the association with that era adds a poignant layer to the term that many families were never aware of.

As autism research progressed, experts like Dr. Lorna Wing began describing autism as a spectrum that reflects a wide range of strengths and support needs . Her work led to a clearer and more accurate understanding. Guided by this, the field eventually moved to a single diagnosis, autism spectrum disorder, with support levels that help families and professionals speak the same language.

Why the difference still matters

How parents make sense of their child. Many families held on to the word Asperger’s because it felt softer or more familiar. Switching to the word autism can bring up emotion or old fears, which is completely normal.

Access to services. A unified diagnosis makes it easier for children to qualify for meaningful support. The older labels sometimes created gaps in what families could receive.

Identity and community. The autistic community has shifted toward embracing autism as a broad, shared experience. Some choose not to use the term "Asperger's" because of its historical ties, while others feel a connection to it because it shaped how they first understood themselves or their child. Both perspectives are valid.

Long-term clarity. Using current language helps families find the right providers, locate the right resources, and understand next steps. It keeps conversations consistent and grounded.

None of this changes who your child is . It simply invites us to use language that respects autistic people and keeps the focus on safety, support, and dignity.

My personal take is simple. Set the labels aside for a moment and look at the child in front of you. A label can open doors, but it will never define their potential, their strengths, or the future they can grow into.

Interested in working together?

The Turning Point I Never Expected

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 20:20:54 GMT

My daughter's diagnosis helped me find my way back to balance and connection

How had I missed this?

I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my daughter as we met with two psychologists who had interviewed her days earlier for an outpatient program to address her anxiety. They started by sharing that my daughter was likely autistic. My daughter was elated; finally, she had an explanation for everything she had experienced in her first 16 years. For me, the feeling was very different; I felt like I had been punched in the gut. How had I missed this, and what kind of parent had I been?

Shame

What stands out is how much I wanted to make everything okay for her, and how much I didn’t understand. I remembered the shame my own neurodivergent diagnosis carried. I wanted to protect her from that shadow.

Here’s just how little I understood, and how much I worried. I remember picking her up from her neuropsych appointment, and I pulled the doctor aside to ask, “If she gets the therapy, could she test again and not be autistic?”

The shame and fear of how the world would treat her pushed that question out of me. For the record: the answer is no, and if your child’s autism is becoming “undetectable,” it’s time to investigate how hard they are working to mask and not let you see what’s really going on.

My Secret Weapon

It became about ensuring we explored every option for an easier path forward. I charmed, advocated, and pushed for appointments. For the first time, my own diagnosis became a secret weapon. I understood the system, and I would not let anything get in her way.

With college on the horizon and a diagnosis finally in place, she began to give herself more grace; her masking at home dropped. For the first time, we truly saw how taxing her days were. We were managing meltdowns most evenings, and Monday mornings became a mix of occupational therapy and Zoom school in the car. I kept trying to get us back to “okay” without really knowing how.

So. Many. Questions.

Behind all of it, I dove into the questions no one can honestly answer. Was it IVF? Was it genetics? Was it me? Self-blame and guilt took over. I told myself her needs mattered more than anything I was feeling.

What I eventually learned is that my feelings matter too. I need balance and regulation if I am going to support her. For years, she was the priority, which makes total sense. The tricky part is that ignoring my own emotional load caught up with me. Sleep slipped, patience thinned, and my own life went on hold.

Stability

I eventually stopped pushing myself past my limits, and everything shifted. I realized that my stability helped her find hers. I could advocate without burning out and support her without losing myself. Love was not running full speed trying to fix everything. Love was slowing down and breathing through the challenging moments. It was letting myself feel the grief, fear, and confusion I had tried so hard to outrun. That was the turning point, not in her diagnosis, but in how I parented through it.

If parts of my story feel familiar to you, you're not alone. Hit reply and share what you’re noticing. I’d love to talk with you and help you find a steadier path forward. You can book a spot on my calendar for a quick conversation, and we’ll take it from there.

Interested in working together?

Safe Foods and Sensory Needs

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 19:25:09 GMT

Supporting your child's relationship with food without pressure

What are safe foods?

As parents, we want our kids to enjoy a balanced diet filled with nourishing foods. Food is not just nutrients. It carries traditions, celebrations, and a lot of emotion. But what happens when your child only eats a very short list of foods?

In the autistic community, these are often called safe foods . A safe food feels predictable, familiar, and in no way threatening. Taste, texture, how it is cooked, and even the brand matters. If anything changes, a child may simply refuse to eat it. Common safe foods include specific chicken nuggets, pasta, bread, or a particular protein bar.

And yes, fruits and vegetables often do not make the cut.

Fruit can be unpredictable

When my daughter was little, she would not eat any fruit at all. Not apples, not grapes, not bananas. The smell of a banana could send her running. Her pediatrician told me not to worry since she ate vegetables. Years later, I asked her why fruit was such a no. Her answer made perfect sense. Fruit can be unpredictable. One grape is firm, another is mushy. One banana is sweet, another is not. Vegetables stayed the same because I always cooked them the same way. Predictability was the comfort.

Safe foods are often simple or packaged because they offer consistency. Some kids even notice packaging changes or recipe tweaks. Bulk buying becomes a survival strategy for parents.

Safe foods are a coping strategy

Here is the key thing to remember. Limiting safe foods does not magically encourage a child to try something new. They will not “eat when they are hungry enough.” They may just refuse to eat at all. Safe foods are a coping strategy. They are not a behavior to fix.

Progress with food takes time and zero pressure. A tiny piece of a new food on the plate. A social story or chart to explore something unfamiliar. Involving your child in grocery shopping or meal ideas. Celebrate any step forward. Even noticing a new food on the table counts.

Your eating habits are not the problem

You might hear well-meaning opinions from others. “If you ate fruit, they would too.” You have my permission to roll your eyes. Your eating habits are not the problem. Sensory sensitivities are real and valid.

Planning ahead is your best friend. Bring safe foods to gatherings, restaurants, holidays, wherever you go. It is okay to protect your child’s comfort and energy. A little communication with hosts ahead of time can help everyone feel prepared.

Identifying a more serious eating issue

There is a difference between safe foods and a more serious eating issue. If restriction affects health or daily life, reach out to your support team. A nutritionist, occupational therapist, pediatrician, or therapist can help explore solutions.

Most important of all, food is one of the places where autistic kids can express autonomy. With time and trust, their list of foods may widen. Be patient. Cheer on the small wins. And remember, safe foods are not your enemy. They are a bridge.

Interested in working together?

Halloween Your Way

Wed, 15 Oct 2025 19:31:07 GMT

How to plan, practice, and celebrate in a way that fits your child's needs

Halloween - Trick or Treat?

Halloween is supposed to be pure childhood joy: costumes spilling out of closets, pumpkins glowing on doorsteps, the thrill of ringing a stranger’s doorbell for candy. But for many parents of autistic kids, it is another holiday that takes extra planning and a little courage.

You start asking yourself: Will my child be able to handle the lights and sounds? The itchy costumes? The squeals of kids darting across the street? The pressure of saying “trick or treat” at each door? Sometimes the answer is no, and that is okay. Sometimes it is a gentle “let’s try and see.”

A well-loved set of PJs converted for some Halloween magic!

Costumes: start with comfort.

If your child knows exactly what they want to be, that is a wonderful starting point. But before the big night, let them try it on and move around the house. Notice how it feels. Too scratchy? Too tight? Hot and overwhelming? Comfort always comes first. If the costume is not working, pivot. A favorite hoodie, pajama onesie, or no costume at all is perfectly fine.

When my daughter was two, I decided she would be the cutest elephant on the block. My mom and I sewed the perfect outfit with trunk, ears, and little covered feet. It lasted exactly two houses before she melted down in tears. Too heavy, too much, too everything. We skipped Halloween for a couple of years and tried again when she could choose what to wear. Best decision ever.

Planning the night out

Think about what helps your child feel safe. Maybe you stick to a few friendly houses. Maybe a sibling or friend can help lead the way. If your child is non-speaking, you could bring a card that says “trick or treat,” or go to the door with them. Set the plan so your child knows what to expect and be willing to adapt if things get overwhelming. Not trick-or-treating is also an option; maybe it’s the perfect night for a movie with some friends or board games with the family. Part of celebrating is honoring what fits for your child and your family.

Practice for predictability

One of the best ways to set your child up for success is to make the night familiar long before it arrives. Read picture books about Halloween, watch short videos, or use a simple storyboard to show what will happen: leaving the house, walking to doors, waiting for candy, coming home. Talk about it often and answer questions. Familiarity reduces anxiety and helps your child feel more confident when it is time to go.

If your child uses AAC, make sure their device has the scripts they will need to be successful. Practice finding these new buttons and make sure they feel confident in how they will communicate.

A note for neighbors

Even if you do not have an autistic child, you can help make Halloween easier. Be patient if a child does not say “trick or treat.” Offer a smile, a kind word, and candy without conditions. Some families use blue pumpkin buckets to signal that a child is autistic. Others prefer not to call attention to it. Either way is valid. Let parents choose what is right for their child.

Celebrate your way

There is no single right way to do Halloween. Some families go big. Others stay home and hand out candy, watch a favorite movie, or have a treat hunt indoors. The goal is not to force a perfect night. It is to create a positive, safe experience that your child can enjoy.

Whatever you choose, it is still Halloween. It still counts. And it is still about making memories that feel good for your family.

Hit reply and share some of the ways your family approaches Halloween. I’d love to hear what works for you.

Interested in working together?

Enough with the Fearmongering

Wed, 01 Oct 2025 20:02:14 GMT

A parent’s perspective on harmful autism myths and why truth matters

I’m done with RFK Jr.’s attacks on the autism community.

I call bullsh*t.

His hunt for an autism “cause” is fearmongering, not science. If he cared about facts, he would talk about genetics and heredity, which is one of the scientific explanations, not blame mothers for taking Tylenol. That idea is unfounded and cruel. It pins guilt where it does not belong.

I know because I was that mother . I was careful, even weaning off medication to lower any potential cardiac risk to my baby. Maybe I didn’t exercise enough, but I trusted my doctor and did what I could. Then someone throws out reckless claims, and I find myself asking, “Did I take Tylenol back then?” As mothers, we often question everything we do during and after our pregnancy. That shame spiral is exactly the harm this misinformation creates.

Why my daughter is autistic is irrelevant.

I have the child I am meant to have, autism included. And autism is not caused by acetaminophen. There are complex factors at play. Honestly, it’s not important to me. When my daughter was diagnosed, I refused to stay stuck in the past. I concentrated on her future: therapies, doctors, answers, and managing co-occurring conditions. I could not rewrite the past.

Like every parent, I want the best for my child. Parenting an autistic child adds the weight of wondering if society will truly accept her. That is the real challenge, not some flimsy accusation about over-the-counter medicine. Imagine if the energy wasted on false blame went into support, acceptance, and love for autistic kids and adults.

This is not just bad science.

It is part of a larger pattern of targeting marginalized communities. Parents and their autistic children deserve compassion , not condemnation dressed up as concern.

So, call out the rhetoric . Stand with the families it hurts. The science is clear, and we will use it every time this nonsense resurfaces.

If confusion or self-doubt has touched you, know this: you are not alone, and the facts are clear. There are safe and trustworthy resources and people ready to help you move from worry to confidence. If you want to talk it through or find the right next step for your family, I am here.

Interested in working together?

Finding the Right Support for Your Child

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 20:25:43 GMT

A parent-friendly guide to turn overwhelm into clarity and hope

Searching for Answers, Finding Our Way

When my daughter was first diagnosed, I felt like I had to sprint to line up every doctor and get all the therapies she might need. We had just eighteen months before college and a long list of co-occurring diagnoses: hypermobility, gastrointestinal issues, depression, migraines, and, on top of it all, sensory sensitivities and meltdowns.

Advocacy quickly became my full-time job. We met with provider after provider, hoping for answers. Sometimes we found the right fit, other times we hit dead ends with professionals who didn’t understand or dismissed her needs.

Along the way, I kept wishing for a simple guide to explain who does what — who to turn to for testing, therapy, advocacy, or medical care. That’s what this glossary is meant to be: a quick, parent-friendly overview of common providers, what they do, and how they might support your child and family. It’s a big list; pick and choose what makes sense.

Who’s Who:

�� School-Based Providers

��‍�� School Psychologist – Gathers data for IEP eligibility, consults with teachers/admin, doesn’t diagnose.

��‍�� School Counselor – Supports all students with social, emotional, or academic concerns; sometimes leads 504 meetings.

�� Mental Health & Therapy

��‍⚕️ Licensed Psychologist – Doctorate; the only provider who can do psychological testing; may also do therapy/consultation.

A Note on Testing: Only licensed psychologists can provide psychological or neuropsychological testing.

A neuropsychologist has extra training to evaluate memory, learning, attention, and brain functioning.
Other providers (like school psychologists or LPAs) may give tests too, but these are usually for school eligibility or under supervision.
For a full neuropsychological evaluation, ask for a licensed psychologist with neuropsychology training.

�� Licensed Psychological Associate (LPA) – Master’s level, supervised; provides therapy and testing.

�� Neuropsychologist – Extra training; evaluates memory, learning, attention, executive functioning, and brain injury.

�� Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) – Therapy for children/adults in schools, agencies, or private practice; some do play therapy.

�� Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (LCMHC) – Master’s in counseling; therapy across ages/settings; some do play therapy.

�� Registered Play Therapist (RPT) – Specialized in play therapy; supports children with trauma, anxiety, or attachment needs.

�� DIR/Floortime Therapist – Relationship-based approach (often for autism); can be OTs, SLPs, or mental health professionals.

�� Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) – Uses ABA with autistic children; there are conflicting viewpoints about this therapy, so research before starting.

�� Development & Skills

��️ Speech/Language Pathologist (SLP) – Helps with speech clarity, understanding/expressing language, and social communication.

✋ Occupational Therapist (OT) – Supports motor skills, sensory needs, feeding, handwriting, daily living skills.

�� Physical Therapist (PT) – Focuses on gross motor skills, mobility, play, and movement.

�� Academic Tutor – May be trained in Orton-Gillingham for reading/writing challenges; also coaches study skills and executive functioning.

�� IEP/504 Advocate – Guides parents through school meetings and paperwork; helps ask the right questions.

�� Medical Providers

�� Pediatrician – First stop for concerns; may manage meds or refer to specialists.

��‍⚕️ Developmental Pediatrician – Special training in autism, genetic disorders, and developmental delays; can prescribe medication, but unfortunately, there is more demand than doctors available.

�� Pediatric Psychiatrist – Manages mental health medication; some also provide therapy; look for autism experience if relevant.

⚡ Neurologist – Specializes in seizures, tics, brain injuries, and sleep concerns.

��‍�� Nurse Practitioner – Can prescribe medication; often partners with psychiatrists or pediatricians.

You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone

Finding the right support for your child can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. Your pediatrician might be a logical Team Captain, and you are always the Co-Captain. No one knows your child better than you do. Trust your instincts, jot down your impressions, and let them guide you to the best fit.

If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, I can help you move from confusion to clarity. Together, we’ll develop a plan to evaluate providers and find the resources that fit your child and your family.

Interested in working together?

New Year, New Teacher, Same Amazing Kid

Wed, 03 Sep 2025 20:47:10 GMT

Simple ways to ease back-to-school transitions

The start of school brings many transitions.

As parents of neurodiverse children, there can be extra work involved in preparing for back-to-school.

For some kids, a new teacher and classroom feel exciting. For neurodivergent children, those same changes can spark worry. Will the teacher create safe spaces ? Will classmates be welcoming ? What new sensory challenges or routines will they face?

Image source: Getty Images

Building routines and creating certainty may help make school easier, and it demands a lot of energy and focus. For many children, adapting is their responsibility. Conforming to schedules, managing numerous sensory inputs, and even staying seated in class are significant expectations that are often overlooked or taken for granted.

When my daughter started high school, she was expected to meet with each teacher to discuss the support she needed. Her guidance counselor started the process by emailing about her 504 plan, and then my daughter had to follow up and advocate for herself. It’s a good reminder that neurodivergent students are often asked to do the “work” of adapting, instead of schools creating spaces that support all learners.

As a parent, you can ease these transitions:

1. Preview the Environment

Visit the school with your child. Walk the halls, find the classroom, practice the route, and, if possible, meet the teacher. For older kids, reviewing the schedule can help reduce uncertainty.

2. Rehearse Routines

Start gradually adjusting to school bedtimes and wake-up times a week or two ahead. Practice the morning routine so it feels familiar. Try leaving the house for school preparations or activities at the same time each day to build anticipation, create consistency, and understanding.

Use visual supports. Calendars, checklists, or visual schedules provide a sense of control and predictability. Laminating a checklist makes it reusable. Get your child involved wherever possible. Be creative with ways you can all help support your child’s independence with routines in the morning.

3. Collaborate with School

Share what works for your child — such as sensory breaks, quiet spaces, and preferred communication styles. If your child has an IEP or 504 plan (which provides accommodations for equal access to learning), review it with the teacher and guidance counselor.

The more parents and educators work together to create inclusive and welcoming classrooms for all children to learn, the better.

4. Plan Beyond Day One

The first day isn’t the only challenge. Lunch, recess, or changing classes can be tough, too. Coaching your child through these can make a big difference.

5. Focus on Strengths and Wins

The goal is progress rather than perfection. Celebrate your child’s daily wins and recognize even the smallest successes. Adjustment is part of growth; it requires patience and encouragement.

Change can be hard, but with a little creativity, you can help your child thrive this school year.

Interested in working together?

Hopes, Fears, and a Podcast Mic

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 20:53:13 GMT

How a single conversation with my daughter reshaped my approach to balancing honesty, worry, and unwavering belief in her.

What do most parents dream of for their child?

✔️ Supportive friendships.

✔️ A loving relationship.

✔️ A fulfilling career where they are respected and appreciated.

Often, it’s all of the above.

Reality Check

When your child is neurodivergent, some of these hopes can come with roadblocks or even barriers. If you’re like me, you throw yourself into championing your child, finding ways to help them manage challenges, and guiding them toward their own version of happiness and success.

But sometimes reality creeps in. You start to wonder: What will truly be possible for them, especially when you are no longer there to advocate?

The Podcast That Wasn't

Last summer, I was invited onto a podcast to talk about parenting neurodivergent kids and my coaching work with parents. I met the host, liked her immediately, and happily accepted. The plan was to have an open, unscripted conversation, which felt comfortable and natural. She was warm, welcoming, and put me completely at ease.

Maybe a little too at ease.

I found myself speaking openly about my concerns for my daughter as she chased her dream of stage managing on Broadway. I discussed how she might be misunderstood or struggle with group dynamics, and how she would be accepted as an autistic person. I was honest and vulnerable. I didn’t hold back my fears or soften my words.

When I listened to the episode after it aired, I panicked. I didn’t hear the proud, unwavering champion I strive to be. Instead, I worried I had been disloyal, especially since my daughter was having a tough summer. Her internship had turned out to be much more difficult than expected, and she was dealing with a deep depression.

My mind spiraled. What if she heard the episode and was hurt by it? What if she thought I doubted her?

I called the host and asked her to remove it. She understood and graciously took it down, even though it had already been shared widely.

Fast Forward to This Summer

My daughter and I were driving when she asked about the podcasts I had been on. I told her about that episode, my hesitation, and my fear that I had planted seeds of doubt. She listened quietly and then said, “I might face challenges because of how my brain works, and that also makes me good at what I do. It’s possible to have dreams and recognize the limits of reality at the same time without being unsupportive.” Then, she encouraged me to see about making the podcast available again.

Talk about a proud mom moment.

So, I did.

As parents, we believe in our children fiercely, but it’s okay to let questions and realities seep in. The questioning itself is not what defines us. What matters most is how we respond.

Have you ever found yourself questioning the possibilities for your child? I’d love to hear your story.

If you’d like to hear the conversation that started this whole journey, you can listen here: Faith on Friday with Rikki Smith .

Interested in working together?

Walking the Tightrope: Supporting All Your Kids When One is Autistic

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 14:53:48 GMT

Making space for everyone in a neurodiverse family

Parents of multiple kids often feel like they’re walking a tightrope when one child is autistic.

Questions pop up daily:

How do I meet my autistic child’s needs while also helping my neurotypical children thrive?

What strategies actually work?

How do I build a strong family where everyone feels seen, supported, and celebrated?

Every family is different, and every child experiences things in their own way. That’s especially true in neurodiverse families. You’ve probably heard this before, but it bears repeating: when you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. The same goes for families.

Image source: Flickr / Wikipedia

Reality Check

Still, there are some general approaches that help many parents strike a better balance. Adjust your language based on your children’s ages, and consider these ideas:

1. Acknowledge their experience.

Siblings might feel confused or left out because their autistic sibling needs more attention. It’s okay for them to feel frustrated or jealous. Let them know those feelings are valid —and that they are not responsible for their sibling’s care or behavior. Offering short bursts of one-on-one time can make a big difference in helping them feel valued.

2. Be honest and age-appropriate.

Explain that their sibling’s brain works differently, and that’s why certain things might be harder. If you don’t explain, kids will make up their own stories . Keep it simple and honest and stay open to their questions—even the tough ones.

3. Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

Each of your kids has different needs. That means “fair” treatment may not always look the same across the board. Try to help siblings understand that everyone will always get what they need, when they need it. As they get older, involve them in family decisions when appropriate. It helps them feel empowered and, more importantly, heard.

4. Watch for stress signs.

Are they acting out, withdrawing, people-pleasing, or struggling at school? If you're unsure, consider checking in with a therapist who knows neurodiverse families. Sometimes, outside support helps kids feel heard in a different way.

5. Protect their play space.

Make room for your kids to have time alone or play without interruption. They also don’t need to “play together” in the traditional sense. Parallel play—just being nearby—can be enough for bonding.

6. Model self-care.

How you handle stress shapes how your kids respond. Take breaks when you need them. Breathe, stretch, walk, and talk with a friend. When your kids see you take a moment, they learn they can too. (You know the drill—oxygen mask on you first.)

What’s something you’ve tried that makes your home life run more smoothly? I’d love to hear it. Or if you’re curious about new ideas to create more calm at home, hit reply. Let’s talk.

Interested in working together?

Nope, That's Not Autism — You Just Like Quiet

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 14:59:52 GMT

Why "we're all a little autistic" misses the mark and why it matters

You’ve probably heard someone say, “We’re all a little autistic.” Maybe they meant it as a way to connect or show empathy, but that phrase isn’t just inaccurate, it’s dismissive. Autism is not a personality trait or a quirky preference.

It’s a neurodevelopmental difference that affects how someone experiences the world. Saying “we’re all a little autistic” not only spreads misinformation, it also minimizes the real challenges autistic people face every day.

Let’s break down why this phrase misses the mark.

1. Autism isn't a personality quirk.

It’s a neurodevelopmental condition with real, impactful differences in communication, sensory processing, executive functioning, and social interaction.

Just liking routines or getting overwhelmed sometimes doesn’t mean you're

autistic.

2. It erases lived experiences.

Saying this flattens the experiences of autistic people who deal with misunderstanding, discrimination, and challenges that non-autistic folks don’t face, even if they also dislike crowds or need quiet time.

3. It spreads misinformation.

Autism is diagnosed based on a specific set of criteria. You can’t be “a little” autistic any more than you can be “a little” pregnant. Either your brain is wired that way, or it isn’t.

4. It centers non-autistic feelings.

This phrase often comes up when someone is trying to relate, but it shifts attention away from autistic people and their actual needs , especially when support or accommodations are being discussed.

What to say instead:

✅ “I can relate to that in some ways, but I know it’s different for autistic people.”

✅ “I’m learning more about how autism actually shows up. It’s much more than just needing structure.”

✅ “I want to be supportive without assuming I fully understand.”

So, next time you hear someone say, “We’re all a little autistic,” take it as an invitation to shift the conversation . Real understanding starts with recognizing the difference between a shared feeling and a lived experience. The more we listen, learn, and speak up, the better we can support our kids and show the autistic community the respect they deserve. Let’s keep learning together.

Image source: Etsy

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Celebrating Disability Pride and Autism Rights

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 15:08:03 GMT

This July, Illinois is showing us what real progress looks like.

It’s Disability Pride Month , and there is so much to celebrate. This is a time to lift up the voices, talents, and contributions of disabled individuals everywhere. It’s about pride, visibility, and showing up exactly as we are.

And guess what? The Americans with Disabilities Act turns 35 this year! July 26th marks an important milestone in disability rights. It’s a moment to reflect and recognize the progress made, where we need to push harder and dream big about what is possible.

This year’s themes for celebration are full of energy and purpose:

We Belong Here, and We're Here to Stay
Disability Justice for All
Accessible Healthcare and Education
Breaking Down Barriers to Employment

Throughout the month, there are art exhibitions, rallies, hands-on workshops, and social media celebrations to discover. Local groups are hosting events that unite the community in meaningful and joyful ways.

Take a look, participate, and join the fun. To find events near you, check bulletin boards at the library, look into local disability rights organizations, or use Google.

Celebrating Progress in Illinois

There’s unprecedented advocacy news from Illinois to celebrate!

Governor JB Pritzker introduced the Illinois Autism Shield Law to close gaps in protection, and families are already seeing the difference. The Illinois Autism Shield Law codifies privacy protections for autistic individuals, expands access to services, and funds autism education for public service workers. This is a direct result of recent efforts that perpetuate misinformation aimed at harming and exposing individuals in the disabled community.

Here’s what’s included:

�� Insurance Coverage

Illinois law requires insurers to cover medically necessary autism services through age 21. That means more kids receive the care they need without their families having to battle with insurance.

�� Data Privacy

A new executive order now blocks state agencies from collecting or sharing personal data about autistic individuals without permission. Privacy is a right, and Illinois is taking that seriously.

⚪ Medicaid Coverage

If your child qualifies, Illinois Medicaid includes a wide range of autism-related services. This can make a big difference for families managing the cost of care.

�� Police Training

All police officers in Illinois now receive training on recognizing autism and appropriate responses. This kind of awareness saves lives and helps prevent dangerous misunderstandings.

�� Access to Services

The state also offers evaluations, therapy programs, grants, and scholarships that help remove barriers and expand access to services.

⚫ Right to a Second Opinion

If you’re unsure about a diagnosis or care plan, you are allowed to get a second opinion. That right is protected, and no one should pressure you to settle for less.

If your state doesn’t offer these kinds of protections yet, speak up. Reach out to your representatives and use Illinois as the example.

Here's the Heart of It

Disability Pride Month is a celebration of dignity, strength, and belonging. It’s a reminder that everyone deserves to be seen, supported, and valued just as they are. When states like Illinois take bold steps forward, it shows us what’s possible—and that real change is already happening.

If you’re heading to an event this month, cheering someone on, or just looking for support, you are part of this movement. Reach out, stay connected, and keep the momentum going. We’re in this together , and the future looks brighter with all of us working together for change.

How are you celebrating Disability Pride this month (and all year long)? Let me know; I’d love to hear.

Image source: The Arc of Illinois

Interested in working together?

Flip-Flops, Sunblock, and Neurodiversity

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 15:18:52 GMT

A summer book list that goes beyond the usual beach fare

Looking for a good read this summer?

Here are a few thoughtful picks from my current reading list. Each of these books shares the unique journey of an autistic individual. Some were diagnosed in childhood, others later in life. All offer insight, resilience, and inspiration.

Underestimated: An Autism Miracle by J.B. Handley and Jamison Handley

Written by a father and son, this powerful memoir follows Jamison, a non-speaking autistic young man, and his family’s push to help him communicate. Through S2C (Spell to Communicate), Jamison finally shares his thoughts, intelligence, and inner world. It is a story of love, persistence, and the belief in assumed competence.

What I Wish You Knew by H J Richardson

Diagnosed as an adult, H J Richardson reflects on her childhood with new understanding. Her memoir explores the challenges she faced growing up without a diagnosis and how her journey toward self-awareness brought healing. She is now a Speech-Language Therapist and a well-known voice on Instagram at @hat.talk.uk .

Un-Typical: How the World Isn’t Built for Autistic People and What We Should Do About It by Pete Wharmby

Pete’s diagnosis as an adult led him to become a passionate advocate for autistic individuals. His book is part memoir and part call for change. He shares practical ideas for how society can become more inclusive and better support autistic people. His content on Instagram and LinkedIn adds even more perspective.

We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia

Eric is a journalist and autistic self-advocate. He challenges outdated narratives and focuses on policy gaps and social barriers. The book features stories from autistic people with a wide range of identities and support needs. His goal is to shift the conversation and give space for autistic voices to speak for themselves.

Whether you are a parent, a professional, or simply someone who wants to learn more, I hope these books offer you a fresh perspective and a deeper understanding of the autistic experience.

Pro Tip: Check your local library or visit ThriftBooks to get your hands on a copy.

Interested in working together?

More Fun, Less Fear

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 18:58:46 GMT

Summer Fun, Safety First

Warm weather brings more than sunshine and pool days—it also calls for extra safety planning if you're parenting an autistic child.

Water Safety

Drowning is the leading cause of death for autistic kids. They’re often drawn to water because of how it feels, sounds, or smells—and that attraction can be powerful .

Tips to Keep Your Child Safe Near Water:

Adaptive swim lessons (like Swim Angelfish or your local YMCA)
Always supervise (no exceptions for pools, lakes, bathtubs, or even fountains)
Add barriers (fences, especially around pools, door locks, and alarms) and check them all to be sure they are working properly
Use gear (life vests over floaties, GPS trackers)
Visual cues (social stories or rule cards help explain water boundaries)

Consider assigning a “designated watcher” during gatherings and rotating the role. It only takes a moment for a child to slip away.

About Elopement

Wandering, also known as elopement, can occur in an instant . Curiosity, stress, or sensory overload can all trigger it.

Ways to Reduce the Risk of Elopement:

Locks, alarms , and fencing at home
GPS devices hidden in clothing or shoes
Always take a photo before outings (you’ll know exactly what they are wearing)
Share your safety plan with neighbors, teachers, and caregivers

If your child does wander, stay calm and call 911. Having that photo ready can make all the difference.

An Additional Resource

The National Autism Association’s Big Red Safety Box is full of tools and tips to help.

Summer should be fun. With a few thoughtful steps, it can also be safe.

Interested in working together?

The Fancy Dinner Party

Wed, 28 May 2025 19:04:13 GMT

Imagine you are invited to a very chic dinner with someone you are desperate to impress. You’re feeling nervous because the only utensils you’ve ever used at a dinner table, if you even sat at one, are a knife, fork, and possibly a spoon.

You know that this dinner will require you to know which of the three forks is on the table and when to use it. Never mind how to eat soup politely (spooning from front to back carefully).

It feels like too much and you're starting to think of excuses not to go.

If you do, you are counting on being able to watch how the guests around you are using their silverware and managing all the other table settings. You have to ‘mask’ your awareness of what to do and how to carry yourself.

For autistic kids, particularly girls , masking is a daily coping mechanism. Masking can be both conscious and unconscious. It serves as a way for them to hide their autistic traits in the ‘neurotypical’ world. They create a ‘persona’ and adjust their behavior based on how they observe and interpret the actions of other kids around them.

Camouflaging

I had never heard of masking before my daughter’s diagnosis, and it took me some time to understand its implications. Another way to describe masking is to use the term ‘camouflaging’.

Autistic kids with low support needs (who fit society’s expectations) may not appear to struggle with communication, understanding social cues, or interpreting facial expressions, even though they actually do .

Behaviors like maintaining eye contact during a conversation can be a significant challenge, yet this remains a cultural expectation. Masking offers a ‘protective shield’ against judgment from others and helps the autistic child feel accepted by their peers.

My daughter 'masking' long before her diagnosis.

Masking comes at a cost.

Autistic kids experience burnout and exhaustion , which can be outwardly viewed as meltdowns from the efforts to manage their day, attempting to use scripted or practiced conversational responses that they’ve rehearsed ahead of time, and even making eye contact during conversations.

Their nervous systems are strained, leading to increased sensitivity to sensory input , which heightens the chances of a meltdown.

Bullying

A big drive for autistic kids to mask is motivated by the desire to avoid bullying .

Bullies target kids who appear different and seize the opportunity. They are cruel, ruthless, and often autistic kids are at a considerable disadvantage. The statistics show that over 60% of autistic kids experience bullying in some form.

Shifting Expectations

If you had to attend those chic dinner parties every night, but the expectation changed slightly each evening based on the host’s frivolity, you would quickly tire of having to decode and figure out what is expected. An autistic child who masks faces the same experience throughout the day, every day .

Interested in working together?

Travel Tips for Families with Unique Needs

Wed, 14 May 2025 20:30:32 GMT

Travel Smarter, Not Harder

☀️ Summer break is around the corner! Are you dreaming about a getaway but also feeling anxious about how to make it work for your autistic child? You’re not alone.

Travel can bring a ton of new experiences, and with that comes sensory overload , unfamiliar routines , and transitions that can feel overwhelming for your child and for you. But with a little planning, your trip can be enjoyable , meaningful , and a lot smoother for everyone involved.

Here are a few ideas that might help:

Choose Thoughtful Destinations

Some locations are working hard to be more inclusive and supportive of sensory needs. A few options to consider:

Theme parks like Legoland, Sesame Place, and Six Flags have staff training and accommodations .

Zoos and aquariums often offer “ sensory hours .”

Beaches, nature trails, and parks can be calming and open-ended.

Museums and libraries are becoming more sensory-friendly , too.

Designated quiet/low-sensory input areas at various locations may also be an option. Check for signage or consult a staff member.

Bring a Sensory Kit

Pack what works for your kid. This could include:

Fidgets, noise-canceling headphones , sunglasses

Tactile toys like playdough or slime

A small notepad and pen, toy cars, or other comfort items

Having these on hand can ease transitions and offer a grounding tool when things get overwhelming. If you get out the door without one, many venues will have options available; ask at the reception/information desk.

Consider a Sunflower Lanyard

These lanyards signal that the person wearing one has a non-apparent disability ; something that may not be visible but affects how they navigate public spaces. The goal isn’t special treatment. It’s a quiet way to let others know that a little extra patience , flexibility , and kindness might go a long way.

Wearing one often shifts how staff and the public respond. It opens the door to more understanding and fewer assumptions. To get a lanyard, head to Hidden Disabilities Sunflower , Etsy, or Google it for your favorite online retailer.

Most Importantly...

Have fun! You don’t have to make this trip perfect. You just have to make it yours. Safe travels this summer — and remember, you're doing a great job.

Interested in working together?

When Hurtful Words Make Headlines

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 20:42:50 GMT

I remember when the heartbreaking shootings happened at Sandy Hook Elementary thirteen years ago. I sat down with my daughter and explained that something terrible had taken place, and she might hear about it at school. I wanted her to have a frame of reference and know that she could always come to me with questions. That I was a safe place.

Today, that same daughter is in college and spending a semester abroad.

I plan to take a similar approach to speaking with her about RFK Jr.’s ridiculous comments centered around autism and the negative impact of it earlier this month. I’ll share my conviction that what he said was hurtful, unkind, and based on false beliefs about autistic people.

I’ll share what we know to be true and what she and I have learned together about autism.

Then I'll get curious.

I’ll ask her what she’s proud of as an autistic person.

And what she might want others to understand about her experience.

Then, I’ll remind her that we should never, ever let someone else’s ignorance define how we see ourselves .

Because not only is she strong.

And smart, funny, and loving.

But she is also capable.

And that capability is what she will lean into when she sets herself up in the world and starts contributing her brilliance to society . Yes, even by paying taxes.

If she were younger, I would also prepare her for the fact that some kids might repeat what they hear at home.

Bullying could happen not because she did anything wrong, but because some people haven’t been taught how to treat others with kindness and respect .

And of course, we’d talk about who she can go to at school if she feels unsafe or uncomfortable.

Our kids thrive when they know they’re loved unconditionally , and when their community shows up to celebrate them , not just tolerate them.

Respect gets respect.

You know who doesn’t get mine?

RFK Jr.

You know who does?

My daughter and all those thriving with autism .

Consider a Sunflower Lanyard

Most Importantly...

Have fun! You don’t have to make this trip perfect. You just have to make it yours. Safe travels this summer — and remember, you're doing a great job.

Interested in working together?

The Moment Everything Shifts

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 15:58:02 GMT

What I’ve learned from parenting through an autism diagnosis and how I help others do the same

Hearing that your child is autistic hits differently for every parent.

Some feel a sense of relief . Finally , there's an explanation for their child’s reactions, behaviors, and experiences in the world. The pieces start to fall into place, and things begin to make sense. Now, they have a place to start, resources to explore, and therapies to consider.

For others, the diagnosis is not what they expected or were ready to hear. Denial can set in. It’s not about a lack of love but often about fear . Fear of what the label might mean or how others might perceive their child.

Some parents struggle with whether to share the diagnosis with their child.

They hope that if their child remains unaware, they’ll be spared any confusion or worry. However, many autistic kids already sense that they’re different. They may not understand why certain things feel harder or more overwhelming. Providing them with language for their experience can help them make sense of it and start to embrace who they are.

In my work with parents during the early stages of diagnosis, I often see fear of the unknown, overwhelm from the many new responsibilities, and thoughts like, “Maybe it’s not a big deal. My child seems fine.”

When my daughter’s psychologist explained her diagnosis...

...I felt like I had been sucker punched. Guilt crept in. Why hadn’t I noticed sooner? I was angry her pediatrician hadn’t seen the signs. And I felt deep sadness knowing she had been navigating the world with sensory sensitivities and a sense that something was off, all without the support she deserved.

She was diagnosed later than many, which is common for girls. Those years of being misunderstood still sat heavily with me. That sadness and guilt don’t completely go away.

We focused on what she needed to thrive.

It wasn’t easy. Finding professionals who understood autism deeply and could see the connections with other medical concerns took time. There were too many appointments where she felt unseen or unheard. So, we learned to speak up. We learned to advocate.

Being the parent of an autistic child can feel like next-level parenting. But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming forever. Learning what works best for your child, meeting them where they are, and most of all, accepting them just as they are. That’s where everything changes.

Your response, acceptance, and engagement form the foundation for your child’s success.

This journey isn’t easy, but with the right guidance and support from someone who has walked the path, you will become the parent your child needs and loves.

My experience with my daughter led me here. Supporting parents who are just beginning this journey is deeply personal for me. If this speaks to you, I’d love to hear your story. Please reach out—I'd be honored to walk alongside you.

Interested in working together?

Autism Awareness vs. Acceptance

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 16:03:06 GMT

Why is April so important?

April is Autism Acceptance Month, but you might also hear it referred to as Autism Awareness Month. Here’s another example of how words make a difference. The transition from awareness to acceptance represents one of the most significant evolutions in the autism conversation, particularly for families navigating the early years after diagnosis.

Why Awareness Isn’t Enough

For years, autism advocacy focused on awareness - which was important at the time. It helped people recognize signs of autism, understand that it’s a spectrum, and reduce some of the stigma. But awareness often stops at "Autism exists" or "These are the symptoms." It tends to be about autism from an outsider’s perspective, often framing it as a problem to be solved.

For example:

Awareness campaigns often rely on statistics (e.g., "1 in 36 children is diagnosed with autism") but don’t explore what that actually means for those individuals.

Some organizations still use deficit-based language, talking about autism in terms of what’s "wrong" rather than seeing autistic traits as neutral or even positive.

What Acceptance Looks Like

Acceptance means moving beyond just knowing about autism and embracing and celebrating autistic individuals as they are. This means:

✅Respecting autistic voices - Involving autistic individuals in discussions about autism, rather than solely professionals or parents.

✅ Shifting the narrative from "overcoming" autism to supporting autistic individuals in ways that honor their needs and preferences.

✅ Understanding that being different doesn’t mean being less -acknowledging that communication, sensory experiences, and social interactions may look different but are still valid and should be honored.

For parents, the journey from awareness to acceptance can be profoundly personal . Many initially enter a state of panic, educating themselves about therapies, interventions, and early signs. However, confidence and a sense of calm emerge as they transition into acceptance and realizing :

Their child doesn’t need to be "fixed."

There’s no "right" way to communicate, play, or experience the world.

The best thing they can do is create an environment where their child.

feels safe, supported, valued, and, most of all, loved unconditionally.

Promoting Autism Acceptance

✅Listen to autistic voices. Read blogs and books, and follow social media accounts run by autistic individuals to learn from their lived experiences.

✅ Challenge outdated narratives. If you hear someone talking about "curing" autism or using fear-based language, offer an alternative perspective or viewpoint. Sharing your experience is powerful.

✅ Advocate for inclusion. Acceptance involves creating school environments, workplaces, and communities that actively support autistic people rather than merely accommodating them as an afterthought.

✅ Model acceptance in everyday life. If a child stims in public, let them. If they communicate differently, honor it. If they have sensory needs, support them. You never have to apologize to anyone.

The Bottom Line

Awareness is passive. Acceptance is active. It’s about building a world where autistic individuals are valued, respected, and supported - not just acknowledged.

While April is the month we call attention to Autism Acceptance, I hope every day is about accepting and embracing the gifts the autistic community brings to everyone.

Are there specific ways you’re navigating this shift? I’d love to hear how you are approaching Autism Acceptance Month!

Interested in working together?

Surviving Insurance Claims Without Losing Your Mind

Wed, 19 Mar 2025 16:47:54 GMT

Navigating medical insurance approvals, claims, and deductibles can feel like swimming with sharks while juggling a dozen tasks at once! Throughout my career in HR, I had the pleasure of helping team members make the most of their benefits and working with insurance companies to create the best plans to meet their needs.

I felt confident about navigating insurance claims—until my daughter’s autism therapies and her other diagnoses brought unexpected challenges that changed everything!

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed with paperwork. I needed to:

Track the plan summary to understand what to expect regarding deductibles, copays, and out-of-pocket maximums.

Review the Explanation of Benefits (EOB) to understand what the insurance would cover versus what I would owe.

Constantly switch between files on my computer and the insurance company’s website.

Just when I thought I had everything under control, more questions popped up!

What if a provider wasn’t in-network? I wondered whether choosing an out-of-network provider was worth the extra cost. Plus, having to file claims for lower coverage rates and higher deductibles made it feel like a full-time job!

Each time I called the 800 number for assistance from an insurance representative, I spoke with a different person . I had to explain all the details again to ensure they understood everything necessary to make an informed recommendation. When they referred to notes in the file, those notes were hardly ever accurate. I lost countless hours on hold, waiting for my turn and then repeatedly retelling my ‘story’.

Finally, I found a LIFESAVER—a dedicated Case Manager of my very own!

Here’s how a Case Manager makes your life infinitely easier:

Expertise: They know the ins and outs of your insurance plan, so you don’t have to decipher confusing documents on your own.

Resourcefulness: My Case Manager even helped me secure coverage for an expensive medication through a drug company’s program, significantly easing the financial burden.

Negotiation: They can sometimes negotiate with providers to secure in-network rates even when the provider is technically out-of-network.

Personal Touch: They remember your family’s unique needs and history, saving you from explaining your situation to a different rep every time you call.

Support: Ultimately, they’re a partner dedicated to ensuring you get the most out of your insurance benefits.

To get your LIFESAVER , call the number on your insurance card and request your own Case Manager to guide you through your insurance maze.

Receiving support from our Case Manager allowed me to concentrate more on my daughter and her care rather than being overwhelmed by paperwork and the frustration of repeating myself endlessly.

Grab your phone, make the call , and get the support you deserve as you navigate your insurance. I hope this tip helps make your insurance journey a little less stressful and much more manageable.

Interested in working together?

The Words We Use to Describe Our Children Paint Pictures

Wed, 05 Mar 2025 16:50:32 GMT

The more I read about autism on social media, the more I realize how much the words we use shape perception. The way we describe neurodivergent traits can unintentionally place limits on a person’s abilities and uniqueness.

From “Non-Verbal” to “Non-Speaking”

When an autistic person does not communicate through spoken words, they are often labeled as “non-verbal.” But communication is so much more than speech!

Many autistic individuals communicate in different ways, including:

✅ Pointing to objects to indicate choices or needs

✅ Making sounds understood by familiar people

✅ Using AAC (Augmentative or Alternative Communication) devices

✅ Spelling to Communicate (S2C) with a letter board

The term “non-speaking” shifts the focus from what someone can’t do to what they can . It acknowledges their ability to communicate thoughts, feelings, and observations—just in a different way.

A Travel Analogy

Think about a time you traveled to a country where you didn’t speak the language.

You still managed to:

��️ Check into a hotel

��️ Order dinner

�� Buy souvenirs

How? Through gestures, pointing, facial expressions, and even translation apps. You weren’t non-verbal —you were just communicating differently. The same is true for non-speaking autistic individuals.

Small Changes, Big Impact

The words we use matter. By shifting from “non-verbal” to “non-speaking,” we recognize the rich and valid ways autistic individuals communicate. It may take practice to make this shift, but it’s a small change that makes a big difference in fostering understanding and respect.

Let’s choose words that empower and honor every form of communication.

Interested in working together?

The Power of Asking Why: Understanding Behaviors Beyond the Surface

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 16:53:33 GMT

In the early days of my daughter’s autism diagnosis (and even before), there were so many moments that made me wonder what was going on . But life was busy, and I didn’t stop to question them. Looking back, I now recognize the signs that could have led to an earlier diagnosis.

One Sunday, we had an interaction that still stands out. She was in her room studying for a test—except her bed was buried under a mountain of clothes. She was spiraling, yelling, and crying. Naturally, I yelled back. Good job, Mom!

I tried folding her clothes, but I wasn’t doing it right. Frustrated, I walked away to collect myself. After a while, I did the only thing I knew would help—I told her to put her shoes on, and we went for a long drive.

In the car, I finally remembered the power of asking why . I waited for her response. She was panicking because she didn’t know how to study. Good grades are part of her masking—her way of blending in, gaining approval, and feeling less different from her peers.

Now, I had an answer. Now, I could help.

No matter what’s going on with your child, stopping to ask why is key to understanding. It’s not always easy in the moment, but over time, recognizing these patterns helps you catch situations before they escalate.

You can use why with any child of any age and any level of communication. Get creative. Be patient. Sometimes, they don’t know what’s upsetting them, and that’s okay. Give it time—the answers will come.

One book that helped me see things differently is Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Barry M. Prizant, PhD. It’s an easy, approachable read, and my copy is covered in sticky notes with all the useful insights. I highly recommend it!

Interested in working together?

melissae51a4849

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A Confident Start to the New Year

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��️ Routines get disrupted

�� Social expectations can be draining

�� Gift giving can be tricky

��️ Holiday foods may feel unpredictable

���� Traditions vary in intensity

✈️ Travel adds another layer

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Sensory stuff changes

Social expectations shift

Special interests get interrupted

Unpredictable transitions

Exhaustion hits harder

Asperger's and Autism

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My daughter's diagnosis helped me find my way back to balance and connection

Safe Foods and Sensory Needs

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Halloween Your Way

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Finding the Right Support for Your Child

A parent-friendly guide to turn overwhelm into clarity and hope

New Year, New Teacher, Same Amazing Kid

Simple ways to ease back-to-school transitions

Hopes, Fears, and a Podcast Mic

How a single conversation with my daughter reshaped my approach to balancing honesty, worry, and unwavering belief in her.

Walking the Tightrope: Supporting All Your Kids When One is Autistic

Making space for everyone in a neurodiverse family

Nope, That's Not Autism — You Just Like Quiet

Why "we're all a little autistic" misses the mark and why it matters

Celebrating Disability Pride and Autism Rights

This July, Illinois is showing us what real progress looks like.

Flip-Flops, Sunblock, and Neurodiversity

A summer book list that goes beyond the usual beach fare

More Fun, Less Fear

Summer Fun, Safety First

The Fancy Dinner Party

Travel Tips for Families with Unique Needs

Travel Smarter, Not Harder

When Hurtful Words Make Headlines

The Moment Everything Shifts

What I’ve learned from parenting through an autism diagnosis and how I help others do the same

Autism Awareness vs. Acceptance

Why is April so important?

Surviving Insurance Claims Without Losing Your Mind

The Words We Use to Describe Our Children Paint Pictures

The Power of Asking Why: ﻿Understanding Behaviors Beyond the Surface

�� Traditions vary in intensity

The Power of Asking Why: Understanding Behaviors Beyond the Surface