The Words We Use to Describe Our Children Paint Pictures

Melissa Berger • March 5, 2025

The more I read about autism on social media, the more I realize how much the words we use shape perception. The way we describe neurodivergent traits can unintentionally place limits on a person’s abilities and uniqueness.


From “Non-Verbal” to “Non-Speaking”


When an autistic person does not communicate through spoken words, they are often labeled as “non-verbal.” But communication is so much more than speech!


Many autistic individuals communicate in different ways, including:

✅ Pointing to objects to indicate choices or needs

✅ Making sounds understood by familiar people

✅ Using AAC (Augmentative or Alternative Communication) devices

✅ Spelling to Communicate (S2C) with a letter board


The term “non-speaking” shifts the focus from what someone can’t do to what they can. It acknowledges their ability to communicate thoughts, feelings, and observations—just in a different way.


A Travel Analogy


Think about a time you traveled to a country where you didn’t speak the language.


You still managed to:

🛎️ Check into a hotel

🍽️ Order dinner

🎁 Buy souvenirs


How? Through gestures, pointing, facial expressions, and even translation apps. You weren’t non-verbal—you were just communicating differently. The same is true for non-speaking autistic individuals.


Small Changes, Big Impact


The words we use matter. By shifting from “non-verbal” to “non-speaking,” we recognize the rich and valid ways autistic individuals communicate. It may take practice to make this shift, but it’s a small change that makes a big difference in fostering understanding and respect.


Let’s choose words that empower and honor every form of communication.

Interested in working together?

Book a chat with me

Woman in car trunk surrounded by moving boxes; smiling, possibly moving out.
By Melissa Berger February 18, 2026
What I wish I had known about support, accommodations, and financial resources before move-in day
Children outdoors, smiling and waving. Some wear colorful shirts, one holds water bottle.
By Melissa Berger February 4, 2026
How early planning can support calm, confidence, and connection for autistic kids.
Young child gazing intently at a person, both appearing to be in an indoor setting.
By Melissa Berger January 21, 2026
When and how to talk with your child about autism