The Words We Use to Describe Our Children Paint Pictures

Melissa Berger • March 5, 2025

The more I read about autism on social media, the more I realize how much the words we use shape perception. The way we describe neurodivergent traits can unintentionally place limits on a person’s abilities and uniqueness.


From “Non-Verbal” to “Non-Speaking”


When an autistic person does not communicate through spoken words, they are often labeled as “non-verbal.” But communication is so much more than speech!


Many autistic individuals communicate in different ways, including:

✅ Pointing to objects to indicate choices or needs

✅ Making sounds understood by familiar people

✅ Using AAC (Augmentative or Alternative Communication) devices

✅ Spelling to Communicate (S2C) with a letter board


The term “non-speaking” shifts the focus from what someone can’t do to what they can. It acknowledges their ability to communicate thoughts, feelings, and observations—just in a different way.


A Travel Analogy


Think about a time you traveled to a country where you didn’t speak the language.


You still managed to:

🛎️ Check into a hotel

🍽️ Order dinner

🎁 Buy souvenirs


How? Through gestures, pointing, facial expressions, and even translation apps. You weren’t non-verbal—you were just communicating differently. The same is true for non-speaking autistic individuals.


Small Changes, Big Impact


The words we use matter. By shifting from “non-verbal” to “non-speaking,” we recognize the rich and valid ways autistic individuals communicate. It may take practice to make this shift, but it’s a small change that makes a big difference in fostering understanding and respect.


Let’s choose words that empower and honor every form of communication.

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