When Hurtful Words Make Headlines

I remember when the heartbreaking shootings happened at Sandy Hook Elementary thirteen years ago. I sat down with my daughter and explained that something terrible had taken place, and she might hear about it at school. I wanted her to have a frame of reference and know that she could always come to me with questions. That I was a safe place.

Today, that same daughter is in college and spending a semester abroad.

I plan to take a similar approach to speaking with her about RFK Jr.’s ridiculous comments centered around autism and the negative impact of it earlier this month. I’ll share my conviction that what he said was hurtful, unkind, and based on false beliefs about autistic people.

I’ll share what we know to be true and what she and I have learned together about autism.

Then I'll get curious.

I’ll ask her what she’s proud of as an autistic person.

And what she might want others to understand about her experience.

Then, I’ll remind her that we should never, ever let someone else’s ignorance define how we see ourselves.

Because not only is she strong.

And smart, funny, and loving.

But she is also capable.

And that capability is what she will lean into when she sets herself up in the world and starts contributing her brilliance to society. Yes, even by paying taxes.

If she were younger, I would also prepare her for the fact that some kids might repeat what they hear at home.

Bullying could happen not because she did anything wrong, but because some people haven’t been taught how to treat others with kindness and respect.

And of course, we’d talk about who she can go to at school if she feels unsafe or uncomfortable.

Our kids thrive when they know they’re loved unconditionally, and when their community shows up to celebrate them, not just tolerate them.

Respect gets respect.

You know who doesn’t get mine?

RFK Jr.

You know who does?

My daughter and all those thriving with autism.

Consider a Sunflower Lanyard

These lanyards signal that the person wearing one has a non-apparent disability; something that may not be visible but affects how they navigate public spaces. The goal isn’t special treatment. It’s a quiet way to let others know that a little extra patience, flexibility, and kindness might go a long way.

Wearing one often shifts how staff and the public respond. It opens the door to more understanding and fewer assumptions. To get a lanyard, head to Hidden Disabilities Sunflower, Etsy, or Google it for your favorite online retailer.

Most Importantly...

Have fun! You don’t have to make this trip perfect. You just have to make it yours. Safe travels this summer — and remember, you're doing a great job.